¡campeones 2012! – The Pepe Reina Show

I’m skipping a bit ahead, since I haven’t posted about the parade in Madrid or the party at Cibeles yet, but The Pepe Show is always the highlight of the celebration, no?  Spain has to keep winning, so we can get to experience the sheer genius of Pepe Reina every couple of years.

I love what the players were doing here to usher Pepe to the center of the stage!

Here is what El Speaker de La Roja said during the 2012 edition of The Pepe Reina Show.

Good evening Madrid!  Good evening Spain!  And good evening Europe, ¡qué cojones!  Before I start, I want to thank all of you for supporting us from your homes, for coming to Poland and Ukraine, we really did feel this support.  A big round of applause for all the fans who made the trip.  I also want to thank, and these are not empty words, the people who are here [the rest of the Spanish delegation, they were standing on the side of the stage] who made our job much, much easier every single day.  We’re the ones who play but they’re the ones who make that possible, they make our jobs much easier, a big round of applause for them.

And now I don’t remember what I was going to say.  Hold on.  Should I present all of you [said to the players]?  This is a legendary team!  No one else has done what it has!  A big round of applause for the Spanish national football team!  I’ve been told to start with the “2.”

These are the players who created a legend in Poland and Ukraine.

Raúl Albiol: with the number 2, a long sausage named Raúl.  He is a person who is complete goodness and all heart.  Where are you, Raúl?  Don’t hide behind your hat.  He finished second in the porra of the Eurocopa.  He’s the scout of the national team.  With the number 2… Raúl Albiol!

Gerard Piqué: with the number 3… who is the number three?  Ahhh, Piqué.  With the number 3, with that body, it’s very easy.  He’s 1.9… 2 meters tall, blond hair, blue eyes, a bit of a beard, I hope you can’t see it from here.  With the 3, the dandy of Spain, the centerback of the world, Gerard Piqué!

Javi Martínez: Javi.  Where are you going?  Wait for your turn.  With the 4… from the blast furnaces of Bilbao.  Should I speak about you as a person or as a footballer?  [Javi: whatever you want to do.]  As a footballer, he’s the muscle of Spain, like I said during the World Cup.  He robs balls, he takes them away, he’s the muscle, he robs balls, he passes, he pressures, he steals.  As a person… as a person?  [Pepe looks to others for the response.  They shout out “farandulero.”] Celebrity!  You’re a celebrity!  With the 4, Javi Martínez!

Juanfran Torres: the 5, we took him from the racetrack, he has the face of a greyhound.  You put a (racing) blanket on him and the number five here [touches his ribs].  He’s Juan Francisco.  The lung of Atlético de Madrid.  Sí señor.  A round of applause for Atlético de Madrid as well.  Come here Juanfran.  Put down the glass.  You don’t know how that makes you look.  Lightning McQueen!  He’s also known as Lightning McQueen!  The boy wants to say something.

(The clearly drunk) Juanfran: ¡Viva España!  Yo soy español, español, español…  Long live drunkenness!

Pepe: and may you live long!

Andrés Iniesta: with the 7… ahhh, sorry, I had a couple of Fantas [sure, Pepe!].  With the 6… Albelda isn’t here, joder.  With the 6, the best player of the Eurocopa [Andrés comes down].  All of Spain loves this man, who is in the hearts of all the Spaniards.  He’s a fantastic person, a better person than he is a footballer.  The great Andrés Iniesta!

Andrés: good evening to everyone.  I want to say two things.  I feel very proud to be part of this legendary team, because they’re unique.  And above all, I feel very proud to see your happy faces during these difficult times.  We are proud to make all of you happy.  ¡Viva España y viva Fuentealbilla!

Pedro Rodríguez: with the 7, give him a rum and Coke.  The party of Spain, we’re going to show them how you dance, you like to dance, give us a little dance.  The party of Spain, the samba.

Pedro: good evening to everyone, we’re very happy to have won this title and to have made history, and like Andrew [jajaja!] said, it’s important to us to see your joyful faces.  That’s it.  Thank you.  ¡Viva España!  

Pepe: with the 7, Peeeeeeedrito!

Xavi Hernández: with the 8, how many has it been, 100, no, that’s a lie, 100 and six?  116?  108… for example.  108 games with the national team.  He’s played for Spain since he was four and a half years old.  The man who conducts this team, the one who makes us play real football.  Xavi Hernández!

Fernando Torres: with the 9, my La Roja brother.  With the 9, the pichichi of the Eurocopa with his big balls.  El Niño de España.  The man who started it all with his goal in the 2008 Eurocopa, the man who closed out this historical triple crown of the team in 2012 with an assist.  My brother, my friend.  Fernando Torres!  I love you, monstruo.

Cesc Fábregas: with the 10, in his favor, I have to say that the empanada is improving adequately.  He’s become sharper, it’s true.  He scored… how many goals did you score, two?  Two, plus the penalty makes it three.  He scored that penalty.  With the 10, he was away from home for a long time, and he’s worked hard to carve out a future for himself.  But now that he’s returned home to Barcelona, he’s going to be part of this national team for many more years.  With the 10 of Spain, the legendary Francesc Fàbregas!

Álvaro Negredo: with the 11, the authentic wild boar of Vallecas, the brown beast, the one with the devastating left foot, the tank, the authentic phenomenon… Álvaro Negredo!

Víctor Valdés: with the 12, we’ve known each other since we were youth players together.  We’ve had both good and some regular moments, but I love you and you know that and we get along de puta madre despite what some people say.  The panther of Hospitalet, the reflexes, the power, the character, the windsurf, as far as I know… with the 12, Víctor Valdés!

Juan Mata: with the 13, the magic ankle, the last player to score for this legendary team.  The man shaved this afternoon, as you all can see.  With the 13, el Picho, Juanín Mata!

Xabi Alonso: with the 14, with the 14, wow, you’re quite drunk already, aren’t you?  With the 14, he’s a legend.  More than 100 games with La Roja.  A Liga champion, a European champion with Liverpool.  Introduce yourself, because it embarrasses me to do so.

(A clearly drunk) Xabi: ¿Eh?

Pepe: present yourself, since it embarrasses me to do so.

(Xabi remains silently drunk.)

Pepe: you’re a great, introduce yourself.  You don’t have words because you’re a bit drunk, no?  With the 14 of Spain… the legendary Xabi Alonso!

I absolutely adore drunk Xabi!  Although I’m surprised that he lets himself lose control like that.  And yes, that’s Iker laughing and pointing at drunk Xabi.

Sergio Ramos: with the number 15, commemorating our beloved Antonio Puerta once again.  From Camas, for me he is right now, and may the others forgive me, the best centerback in the world.  He has everything: speed, he’s good with his head, with his left foot, with his right foot, with the one in between [jajajaja!!!!], he’s a phenomenon.  From Camas, my brother Sergio Ramos!  Sergio Panenka Ramos!  Ramos, Ramos!  Ramos, Ramos! The truth is he must have big ones to have taken it [the penalty] as he did.

Sergio Busquets: with the 16, where is he?  There he is.  The octopus of Badia, the apple of my eye on La Roja, the grump Busquets, monstruo, the son of el míster.  He’s Sergio del Bosque Busquets, but is better known as the octopus of Badia.  He robs balls, breaks up plays, plays, makes others play, he is the wall and the creativity of Spain.  With the 16 on his back, Sergio Busquets!

Álvaro Arbeloa: the 17.  SPARTAN!!!!  [Hands the microphone to Álvaro.]

Álvaro: SPARTANS!!!  What is your profession?

Pepe: he does great work.  With the 17, a fantastic footballer who had grown with the passing of years and now he’s irreplaceable in Real Madrid and in the national team.  That says a lot.  With the 17 of Spain, Álvaro Arbeloa!

Jordi Alba: with the 18, he’s crapping all over himself because he doesn’t know what I’m going to say.  With the 18, with all due respect, neither (Jorge) Lorenzo nor (Dani) Pedrosa is the Moto GP of Spain, it’s this boy.  The surprise discovery of this Eurocopa, the discovery of Spain.  From L’Hospitalet, Jordi Alba!

Fernando Llorente: with the 19, Floris.  With the 19, the worst pocha player on this team.  El hombre que más achiques se pega [refers to occurrences during the pocha games].  For me, he’s as tall as he is good, he’s a good person.  I swear to all of you on my life that I’ve never met anyone more honest and noble in the world of football.  I love him like a brother, that’s the truth.  With the 19 of the national team, Fernando Llorente!

¡Llorente, Llorente!

Santi Cazorla: with the 20, come over here.  With the 20, another of my predilections on this team.  For me, he’s one of the best players in the world.  He didn’t play a lot, but hey, you’ll always have a place on my team, you know that.  With the 20, from Asturias, with all his charm, with his height, and with his human and footballing qualities, my friend and my brother, Santi Cazorla!

David Silva: with the 21, Luis Enrique, jajaja.  With the 21, one of the goalscorers last night, a very important player on this team, he doesn’t want us to call him… Pony, but that’s the way it is.  The magician of Arguineguín is going to tell us what it’s like to score in the final of a Eurocopa and to be a legend.

David: I feel what all of Spain is feeling, happy to be part of the legend with this entire group.  The truth is we’re not going to know until many years later what it feels like to make all of you happy, and hopefully we can enjoy it with all of you [he used the formal you] during this entire time.  Thank you very much.

Pepe: with the 21, David Silva!

Jesús Navas: with the 22, the crazy bird, the energy of this team, the player who runs the most in this world, the goodness, the good friendship, and above all, the sprint and the feint of Spain.  With the 22 on his back, Jesús Navas!

Iker Casillas: with the 1, WITH THE 1 [pauses to let the crowd chant “Iker, Iker…”].  WITH THE 1, the man who is a living legend in this country.  The player who has worn this shirt the most number of times.  He’s won everything, he has defended these colors to the death and he’s not only an example as a footballer, but also as a person.  I’ve been lucky enough to have spent seven years with him and the only thing I can say is that I continue learning from you, Iker.  I love you.  And you deserve it.  WITH THE 1, IKER CASILLAS!

Iker: good evening to everyone, thank you very much Pepe for this introduction and to this esteemed crowd.  [The crowd starts chanting, Ballon d’Or, Ballon d’Or.]  Thank you very much.  For me it’s an honor, and I say this with complete sincerity, to be the captain of this team which is not only made up of great footballers, but also of great persons.  The truth is that one of the biggest pleasures for me is to be able to be here with all of you and to bring to you this immense joy that is winning a Eurocopa.  We’ve been fortunate enough to win two Eurocopas and a World Cup in four years, and you all deserve it and should enjoy it.  Thank you very much for being here and this is for all of you.

Notice Juanfran and Negredo falling over behind Iker.

Vicente del Bosque: ¿Míster?  He has left.  I don’t know where he is.  The conductor of this team, Don Vicente del Bosque.  The patient man, the kind man.  The humility and wisdom of this country.  I don’t know if I’m mistaken, I hope not, but I believe he’s the only coach to have won a World Cup and a Eurocopa.  A big round of applause for Don Vicente del Bosque!

Pepe Reina: this year, we’re going to change things up a bit, Sergio Ramos asked to introduce the 23 of Spain, let’s see what he has to say.

Sergio: with the 23, from Córdoba, with an artistry and sex appeal that no one else has.  With an unrivaled artistry that only a don called Pepe Reina can have.  With the 23, because we all love you, his name is… Pepe Reina!  ¡Yo soy español, español, español…!  Olé Pepe, olé you, olé your throat for everything it’s putting up with brother and olé your bald head which brings you blessed glory.  Because I love you and because ¡VIVA ESPAÑA!  AND BECAUSE WE’RE UNIQUE AND WE’RE THE BEST!  ¡CON HUEVOS!  ¡VAMOS!

Watch episode 3 of The Pepe Reina Show here.

He more than lived up to expectations once again, no?

Several days earlier, Gerard Piqué posted this video, and said it was on the way back to Spain from Ukraine.  However, Pepe said this actually took place on the flight from Gdansk to Donetsk to play in the quarterfinals, so I don’t know why Gerard said that.  Anyway, here we have Pepe doing the in-flight safety demonstration, along with a real crew member, much to the delight of his teammates.

Iberia should use this for future flights, because Pepe was quite good!  I love his little additions and the flair with which he did the safety demonstration.  My favorite part has to be when he couldn’t find the seatbelt and the crew member kept repeating, “seatbelt, seatbelt” and Pepe was all like I can’t find it!

Here’s the full video.