Javi Martínez – El País 2014 World Cup Q&A

If you need a nice distraction from Friday’s result, here is Javi Martínez’s El País Q&A!  If you’ve read his previous ones (here and here), then you should know that you are in for a real treat.

The test took eight minutes, because there were a lot of laughter and second answers, as some were unprintable.  [I really want to see the uncensored version!]

Who scored the first goal of the World Cup competition?  And we’re starting!  I have no idea.

Which player has scored the most goals in the history of the World Cup?  Klose is second and in first place is… first is Ronaldo!

Why is the cat sad and blue?  Because it didn’t get anything to drink.

Why did Del Bosque decide to grow a moustache?  Due to the cold.

Sushi or sashimi?  Sushi.

Do you know who Peppa Pig is?  A cartoon character, I have nieces and nephews!

What does maracanã mean?  It means parrot or large bird in the native language.

Who scored the goal of the Maracanazo?  Ghiggia.

Who painted the painting Sunflowers?  Rembrandt?

What is the patela?  It’s German for patellar tendon, I swear, tío!  [Says the knee expert.]

What is the name of Australia’s goalkeeper?  Foster?

And the coach of Chile?  I was going to say Bielsa!  Sampaoli?

Which European country does the national anthem of the Netherlands speak badly about?  I don’t speak Dutch.

What brings you luck?  Hard work.

Why did the king abdicate?  I have many answers, but I’m not going to say any of them.

What is your favorite restaurant?  Durban, in Ayegui.  It’s mine!

Who drew Cuttlas?  Who is that???

What is Cialis?  I don’t know.

Where does Manu Chao live?  In Mexico.

Who invented the miniskirt?  The English.

How long does the copulation time of a stick insect last?  26 seconds.

Why are blondes stereotyped as dumb?  I don’t know any dumb blondes.

Who is Lula?  He was the president of Brazil.

How many goals did Villa score in the 2010 World Cup?  As many as were needed.

Where is Wladyslawowo?  Right next to Wladislatonto [notice the tonto].

What sport does Jennifer Pareja play?  Something in the water.  Waterpolo, tío!

What book are you reading at the moment?  I was going to read yours but it’s terrible.  I’ve started reading The Prisoner of Heaven.

Who is Raymond Reddington?  The protagonist of The Blacklist.

Why is Eibar not allowed to be promoted if it isn’t in debt?  Eibar will play in the first division.

What is Pedrito’s birthplace?  It’s in Tenerife.  Give me three choices and I’ll tell you the village.

Who broke your heart for the first time?  Zidane, on the day that he eliminated Spain from the 2006 World Cup.

When was the last time you got drunk?  The day before yesterday.  Of course not!  I can’t answer this question because my mother will get mad.

What is the title of Shakira’s new album?  I’ll go ask Gerard right now.

How many of your friends are unemployed?  Fortunately, none of them, I’m very lucky.

Why are we not allowed to use Twitter to insult politicians?  Out of respect.

What was Pichichi’s name?  Give me three choices and I’ll get it right, I’m very good at this type of test.

How did Sid Vicious die?  The one from the Sex Pistols?  From drugs!

How many loads of laundry do you do a week?  Two.

Why is there no Wi-Fi on the AVE?  There must be some reason, go ask Renfe!

What are gañafones?  I don’t know.

What did Jorge Sanz do in 1986?  I don’t know, film some movie.

In Brazil, who was Dunga?  An exceptional footballer and he coached the national team later on.

When was the last time you lied?  Two minutes ago.

Posted on June 15, 2014, in q&a and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Best answers yet! “I was going to read yours but it’s terrible.” :) Oh, Javi! You’re right, this is the perfect antidote to post-Netherlands depression!

  2. omg JAVITXU you are such a brat (but a hilarious one that I love very much)

    I can’t decide which is the funniest answer, I’m too busy cracking up. Maybe they can just Q&A with Javi every day?!

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